Mama: “what’s that?” My daughter was referring to the tights I was putting on while getting dressed to deliver a speech. I said: “tights”. She looked at me as if the word didn’t register. “Pantyhose”, I said. “I want to wear pantyhose.”
Despite being extremely pressed for time having been at the zoo all morning, racing to volunteer at my son’s class and then rushing to pick up my son before going to our music class all before the event, I obliged. We went to her room and I pulled out a pair of tights I was saving for when the weather was cooler; charcoal grey with black polka dots.
“Put them on, put them on!” she said. I pulled on the tights and she paraded around my bedroom as I finished getting ready, a priceless moment.
I felt proud of myself as for just that day; I had mastered chatting with and distracting her, as I got ready. It is a fine balance for if I am stressed, it shows and then the getting ready takes twice as long.
As I drove to the event, I savored the sweetness. As the night wore on, it struck me just how influential I am to her at the moment; a constant reminder that I need to be on my best behavior. The realization made me a bit fearful for I am not perfect and heaven forbid I teach her a bad habit. I am not certain why this came up now when I have already been through this stage with our son. (Perhaps because he stopped wearing my shoes and wanting his nails polished a lot earlier!) The realization stayed with me as I spoke to an audience of 60.
After the event, several of us involved stayed to have dinner. One of the other moms commented on how she would go home not having seen her children since she dropped them off at school this morning and would sit and watch them sleep… Yet another struggle we all as parents have: balance.
I remember when we first became parents how surreal it all seemed; like a movie where we were pretending. Thinking we were too “young” to have kids as we were still learning ourselves. As time went on this feeling mostly went away with only an occasional re-appearance.
But the night of the pantyhose, the feeling resurfaced; am I really mature enough to be her role model? Knowing on one hand of course I am but continuing to question.
“Penny-Toes”
The next morning the first words out of her mouth were: “I want to wear my “Penny Toes” Repeated over and over to the point of tears as it didn’t occur to me what she was saying “Show me, what you would like, I said.” She took me in her room and pulled out the tights. Wear her “Penny Toes” she did. My constant reminder that her eyes are all on me and that she is my greatest audience.
Your Turn
Have you had this experience of having your children be your “Constant Reminders”?
What true words! Striving for perfection or being constantly aware that we are not perfect, cripples us as mothers. There is no such thing as perfection. If we are constantly in our heads, afraid of being “perfect” or “messing up our kids”, the more likely we will show up as less authentic versions of ourselves. We must see that life is a mixed bag of good and not so good and our children need to see both sides for many reason, it helps them grow emotionally and spirtually. Making mistakes allows us to see the “right” way, the choices we should have made and with any luck, will make next time. Life as a mom, to me, is about trusting myself, accepting myself and the process I am on as a mother. They do soak us in, and more of what we don’t say than what we do. Allow your energy to be one of positivity, confidence, clarity, strength, playfulness and authenticity and your giving your child the gift of the WHOLE you.
Sigrid
Thanks for stopping by to read the article and to share your thoughts!
I love your last sentence which leads to “giving your child the gift of the WHOLE you!”
Best,
Rajka
what a wonderful reminder. Just as much as i feel super-priviledged everytime i’m reminded my 4yo is watching me….it also scares the life out of me. It breaks me to know that I’ve set a bad example – not matter how small it is.
Thanks again for reminding me that i really really need to work on my yelling – most apparent when i’m running late.
Tks!
Farwin
Farwin
Hi! It is nice to see you here on the site. Things are more difficult as we run late or are pressed for time. I think we all strive to be the best moms we can be knowing that no one is perfect!
Best,
Rajka
What a sweet post and a great reminder to have more patience with our kids. I can really use that reminder! Thank you!
Your welcome! This year, I started backing off on the amount I do in week which helps with the patience!
I loved this post.
Thanks Danielle!
Something to look forward to
I used to think medicine was so rewarding. It is, however children are more so if it is your desire to have them.